It Can't Get Any Worse / Schlimmer geht's nicht

(German version: scroll down / Deutsche Version: nach unten scrollen)

At first it looked like just another case of bad luck...

Still no contact from missing Mars probe

LONDON, England (AP) -- Scientists struggled Sunday to understand why they have failed to make contact with Europe's first Mars probe, four days after the Beagle 2 craft was supposed to touch down on the Red Planet to begin its search for life.

And now this:

U.S. Rover Sends Home Dramatic Pictures of Mars  

PASADENA, Calif. (Reuters) - A robotic explorer beamed stunning images of the bleak Martian surface back to Earth, showing on Sunday it had made a safe landing in what NASA scientists said could be a dry lake bed ideal for finding signs of life on the red planet.

I mean, this just isn't fair. It doesn't make sense. Europe's supposed to be so smart, and the Americans are - as Michael Moore told us so convincingly - "ignorant people ... who don't even have a passport"! And: "Just a handful can speak a language other than English".

Michael, where are you? We need help! MICHAEL??

Update: This really hurts:

These NASA folks probably speak just English, and no other language! And most don't even have a passport!! And yet they manage to beat sophisticated Europe on the way to Mars. What a shame! Michael, please explain...

And here's this blog's homepage.

German version / Deutsche Version

Anfangs sah es nur wie Pech aus...

"Beagle 2", bitte melden!

Darmstadt -  "Das ist schon enttäuschend, aber es ist nicht das Ende der Welt." Mit diesen Worten reagierte Collin Pillinger, Chefwissenschaftler für das europäische Marslandegerät "Beagle 2", auf den ausbleibenden Kontakt zur Marssonde.

Und nun das:

US-Marssonde sendet erste Bilder

Pasadena (Reuters) - Kurz nach ihrer erfolgreichen Landung auf dem Mars hat die US-Sonde "Spirit" am Sonntag erste Bilder vom Roten Planeten zur Erde gesendet.

Darauf war die Umgebung des Landeplatzes, eine karge Felslandschaft sowie ein scharfkantiger Felsbrocken zu sehen. Experten bezeichneten die Bilder als außergewöhnlich. "Das ist unglaublich. Es könnte nicht besser sein", sagte NASA-Wissenschaftler John Callas als die Bilder auf dem großen Bildschirm im Kontrollzentrum in Pasadena zu sehen waren.

Ich finde das alles nicht fair. Das macht einfach keinen Sinn. Europa ist doch angeblich so smart, und die Amerikaner sind - wie uns Michael Moore überzeugt hat - "ein unwissendes Volk ... die nicht einmal einen Pass haben"! Und: "Nur eine Hand voll kann eine andere Sprache als Englisch".

Michael, wo bist Du? 'Wir brauchen Hilfe! Michael??

Comments

[Dean Esmay]

Beagle did give some useful info, though, and overall this is a great time for science.

[N. Hale]

Mikey is at home sitting in his $1.2 million apartment in New York City eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream, fantisizing about another nonsensical book that he can write and sell to the mindless of the world.

Mr. Moore will help only if you have money to pay for his books and "documentary films". He will help himself to your hard earned paychecks so he can eat more ice cream in his million dolllar home that you have paid for. 8-)

[Doug]

That's a funny parody of wounded European pride. At least, I hope it's a parody.

[David]

Of course it's a parody.

Just didn't realize that needs to be mentioned...

[vaara]

Just don't be too horrified when you start hearing the name Claude d'Ustin over the next few days... he's one of the mission specialists who will be "driving" Spirit as it roves around the Gusev Crater, and he is, of course, an eeeeevil Frog.

[Reid]

Every loss of an interplanetary scientific spacecraft is a loss for all of humanity. Mars is hard - really hard. You will find no gloating for the loss of the Beagle from this American.

[noname]

c'mon, its a hoax, a rather elaborate hoax... The rover thingie never made it to Mars, everything is staged in a hollywood studio.

[Jeepster]

Vaara: We won't be horrified...we have nothing against European scientists' accomplishments. But given the torrent of "Americans are fat, dumb, unsophisticated, incopetent" comments we see from Europeans, it's just _fun_ to rub the noses of Euro internet ubermenschen in it every now and then. Turns out a space program really is kinda _hard_, eh?

[Cooper for President]

Reid is absolutely correct, of course.

This is just another attempt at getting Bush re-elected. Only a Michael Moore fan would be smart enough to realize that this is a hoax designed to get more oil for Halliburton.

Click on the name to get the full article!

[Jeff]

Bush lied. There is no planet Mars and no such mission.

On another note, Michael Moore is a fat, slovenly, useless pig. Other than a few choice words to use in a restaurant, I doubt he speaks any foreign languages. Talk about ignorant! Just a reminder, it is Moore and his ilk that put Bush in the White House in the first place with their incredibly naive votes of "conscience" for Nader. Thanks Mike!

[Mustafa Sensayuma]

Oh, I wouldn't classify Mikey Moore as a monolinguist. He is quite skilled in Bullshit, converses freely in Exaggeration, knows Balderdash forwards and back, uses Baloney like a native French journalist, and is quite knowledgable in the lesser related dialects of Gibberish, Malarkey, and High and Low Drivel.

And did I mention his hand is uncommonly kind to his mouth?

[Paul Stinchfield]

Vaara, I don't mind a frog at the controls. Now Mr. Toad of Toad Hall, *that* would worry me.

[Anthony]

Given that the Beagle was a largely British venture, who have backed the US up to the hilt in recent months, I find using the Beagle failure to attack Moore as pathetic as the arguments Moore uses.

[gijoe]

i for one, applaud our new anal probe wielding martians

[Thom]

LOL Funny responses. Of course I don't think Beagle being lost is funny just the witty remarks for humor sake. Is there still a chance communication could come from Beagle? In re: Michael Moore sitting in his apartment eating Ben & Jerry's, what a great mind picture and easy to picture. Though in all honesty I do question whether Michael Moore suffers from some mental disturbances and if so they he deserves our pity and not contempt. Hopefully he has some real friends that could intervene if that is so.

[Karl B.]

Frankly, I found this entry over the top. But last night I watched the 8:00 news (ARD). The newscaster repeated more than once references to prior U.S. failures, and threw in reference to the recent shuttle expolsion for good measure. It really does seem that the German media has trouble when America succeeds. It is sad to see how petty things have become. This is not a sign of self-confidence (on either sign of the Atlantic).

[Karl B.]

Oops, that's "side" not "sign"

Unbelieveable, i was hoping the e.s.a. would be able too make contact with their mars probe before ours landed! But, after reading Karl B. post, i fear their is a new conspiracy card up the german media sleeve.

NEWSFLASH* "Americans go to church in record numbers and prayed for european failure on mars."

or

"Americans enter right behind europeans, extends probe form it's shaft. New knowledge is coming too light, previously unknown to american minds"! Uuuuhhh yeah!

[jmr]

Hilarious. I'm sorry Beagle2 didn't work out, but if the condescending Eurowanker bit wasn't so dead-on, it wouldn't be funny. You people really should take a look at yourselves sometime, and wonder why your smartest are still leaving to go west. Is it because you're so superior? That MUST be it.

As for Michael Moore, he is a living breathing joke, and his presence on the page needs no other justification.

[googoo]

Doug:
Spiegel's post is a tranlation of the AP story written by either a brit or an american, and in German at least they are not gloating. But I guess anyone can read anything they like between the lines....

[Panther]

Sorry, that was my post before jmr's post.

[Tom]

What if they find an ass-load of oil on Mars, wouldn't that be funny?

[kid charlemagne]

Karl B. notes blatant anti-U.S. bias on the ARD news, yet finishes his post with a remark to the effect that both sides are equally to blame. Somehow typical of the falsely "balanced" thinking that often gets criticized on this site.

[Hucklebuck]

I just hope the Beagle can find some Martians on which to use it's new-fangled rectal probe. It's time we evened the score for all thoses RP's applied to innocent abductees over the decades. If not, it can always use any of Moore's orifices ("orifi?") on it's return, since he is all asshole.

[Karl B.]

Kid C., your logic is pretty tenuous. Who said anything about equal blame? There is blatant anti-US bias in the media here in Germany. That's why I read this site every day and post my own contributions and make reference to samples that I find. I attribute much of the anti-US bias in Germany to self-loathing and envy. It evinces low self-esteem.

On the other hand, I think some of the posts here also reveal, if nothing else, a bad case of wounded pride. My theory: the lower you hit, the less confident you are. Gloating over Europe's failure in a scientific mission does not strike me as a supremely self-confident gesture.

Whatever, don't cram me into an ideological mold just to set me up. I don't buy into that BS.

Worse than that, some of those NASA scientists probably speak with a southern accent.

[Erk]

Hey now, we've left a couple billion-dollar craters for the bug-eyed monsters too, one due to a contractor so ignorant and provincial they weren't even using the metric system.

[Jim H]

This is tasteless and childish. They were very gracious in their congratulations for the success of Spirit.

[wes]

"These NASA folks probably speak just English, and no other language! And most don't even have a passport!!"

Hilarious!

[Susan]

Moore doesn't eat the Ben and Jerry's directly out of the carton, though. First he spoons it all onto a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. Then he follows that with a chaser of several mega-size Snickers bars.

[Joe]

Work from the back of the house at JPL is that the most likely failure of the Beagle2 is tha same as the NASA probe which went splat. Airbag failure, not Imperial/metric conversion. The airbag based entry design has inherent risks to it, but was designed to reduce payload weight, and thus cost.
Look at what the combined NASA/ESA effort is doing here. 2 orbiters, 3 landers: allowing for fault tolerance with a planet that has a reputation for being very difficult to land on.

Hallo N. Klaric,
1. In dem Beitrag steht zwar, dass der Lander überdurchschnittlich schnell entwickelt wurde und ein "Bonbönchen" war, die Bezeichnung "quick'n'dirty-Lösung" wirkt aber reichlich übertrieben. Wirklich große Verschwendung von Steuergeldern auf Europaebene gibt es auch, aber mehr an anderen Ecken (siehe EU-Bananensubvention).
2. Kann man aus Satellitendaten sehr wohl Erkenntnisse über die Oberflächenentwicklung eines Planeten gewinnen, auch wenn das für Sie nach Voodoo klingt.
3. War der entscheidende Punkt im Beitrag von "WwW" doch, dass der Beagle-Lander KEINESWEGS der entscheidende Teil des Projekts ist.4. Ist das oben geschehene Verknüpfen von wissenschaftlichen Projekten und irgendwelchen Streitereien über "europäische" und "amerikanische" Intelligenz bestenfalls lächerlich, schlimmstenfalls traurig. Genauso traurig sind allerdings auch Äußerungen wie die von Michael Moore - oder die Begeisterung, die solchen Vorurteilen von einigen hierzulande entgegenschlägt.